Voorbeeldfeedback van editor Sarah
I have enjoyed reading and editing your thesis. I found the topic you’ve written about to be very interesting.
Even though the thesis was already rather well written, I’ve made many adjustments to the text. Below I have pointed out the mistakes you’ve made the most often. The following comments help to explain the suggestions I have made within your text and will enable you to strengthen your future academic writing.
Word-level grammatical and spelling mistakes
First of all, I have suggested deleting all of the contractions from your writing (such as “isn’t”), as contractions are not formal enough for this type of writing.
Second, you have frequently used an adjective when an adverb is called for (e.g., “quick” instead of “quickly”). I have recommended several related changes.
Apart from that, it is often not clear what pronouns such as “it” and “they” are referring to (in grammatical terms, the antecedents of the pronouns are ambiguous). I have marked where I would suggest you be more specific. You might also find the explanation offered in this article to be helpful: https://www.scribbr.com/academic-writing/common-grammatical-problems-with-clarity-and-logic/.
In many places you have made mistakes in relation to using “a” or “an.” Reviewing the rules on article usage would make your writing stronger. Please also remember that an abbreviation that starts with a vowel sound when being read aloud (such “EU”) takes “an,” not “a” (e.g., “an EU country”).
Also, I have made many changes in relation to prepositions, which are particularly tricky in English. Taking a careful look at some of the changes I have made the most frequently (such as “…” instead of “…”) will help you in your future writing.
Sentence-level grammatical mistakes
In many cases you have long and complicated sentences that are difficult for the reader to follow. I have often suggested either breaking such sentences into two or introducing punctuation that will help make them more readable.
Next to that, please note that as “et al.” means “and others,” the verb that follows should be plural (e.g., “Wang et al. have suggested…”).
Style and academic tone
I have made many comments in relation to your use of abbreviations. You may find it helpful to review the guidelines that are discussed in this article: https://www.scribbr.com/academic-writing/using-abbreviations-and-acronyms-in-a-thesis/.
Please take a careful look at the suggestions I have made in relation to handling numbers. Further information can also be found in this article: https://www.scribbr.com/academic-writing/numbers-in-your-thesis-should-you-use-words-or-numerals/
I have noted that you have used a mixture of British and American English spellings. Reviewing this article may help you decide which form of a term is more appropriate: https://www.scribbr.com/academic-writing/using-american-british-or-australian-spelling-within-your-thesis/.
You also haven’t used the same font throughout the document. Doing so will improve the layout of your thesis and make it more legible, both of which may result in a higher grade.
I hope that my comments are helpful to you in finalizing this text as well as in your future academic writing. Best wishes for completing your thesis and whatever is next on the horizon for you.
Good luck accepting all the changes!